The second time round at the fair, as an Empey parent, you have learned and remembered a few things from
last year’s failures and successes. This year, you skip the allure of the free entry with canned food donation day, and instead scour the internet for the lowest rates of attendance at the fair. So instead of canned food day, you go on senior citizen’s day. Half as many people, and it feels like heaven.
And if you’re Nick on your way to the fair, you’re just so, so savvy about saving little kids legs for later and therefore you drop your family off at the gate closest to the pig racing (which was last year’s favorite) and park the car all by your lonesome. And on your walk back, you stop by the
Old Grist Mill and buy a nice big cup of hush puppies, because you know that’s what your wife has been looking forward to buying since last year.
And if you’re Nicole, you’re just so so proud of yourself, and your husband, as you walk a short distance to the pig racing, instead of 2 miles to the pig racing like last year, and you sit and eat snacks you packed while you wait for the show. And no one has complained about walking yet, and that is just so smart of you. Good seats, and food that costs an eighth of what you would have paid at the fair for.
And if you haven’t seen pig racing you still won’t have after you watch this video:
So clearly, if you’re an Empey child, pig (and duck and goat) racing should be immediately followed by carnival rides. And like last year, you know exactly which ride you will ride. The bumpy slide:
And this year instead of disappointment and sorrow and the longest walk you can fathom you walk straight to it, hand the man your tickets all by yourself like an old pro, and climb up the stairs.
Now, If you’re Everett at the fair for the second time, on the way from your bumpy slide selection to the dog show, you ask politely for the camera and then take pictures along the way. They look like this:
Got the fingers out of the way now:
And then if you’re mom, you steal the camera back and take a picture of everyone approaching that ostrich head, because that thing is photo worthy.
The dog show proves to be absolutely worth everyone’s time.
And you all get to see a world champion high jumping poodle named Joker.
Then if you’re Brookston and Everett you want another carnival ride, and again, you know exactly which ride you want to go on. However, you don’t really know what to call this thing, and you try really hard to explain it, but your parents are not really catching on, so you grab their hands and drag them there. You don’t know what ‘there’ is, but luckily your parents finally ask ‘ did you go on it last year?” And yes, you had, and you’ve finally found it:
If you’re Rosalyn, you know that you’re essentially paying four bucks to run though a playground one time, and you wait with the ‘rents while your brothers waste their money (in your opinion) so you can go on the carousel.
but your brothers clearly don’t think it was a waste:
By now it’s time for the BMX/Motocross show, so everyone piles into the grandstand and eats icecream while you watch daredevils.
And then if you’re Mom at the fair you’re finally over the icecream ‘incident’ that occurred while watching grown men flip through the air, and you’re accompanying your daughter on her coveted carousel ride and thinking ‘don’t throw up, don’t throw up.’
By now, if you’re Roz and you just rode on your slowly spinning carousel, you’re getting to be a bit delirious. It
is nearly bedtime.
The delirium continues as you consume a 50 cent pickle the size of your foot…
…and then lay on the ground and watch your brother and parents shared the Maple flavored cotton candy that you said you didn’t like. More specifically you said, after sampling it, “I don’t like that fluffy stuff,” with a rather disgusted and disapproving look on your face. That is only if you are Roz at the Fair. If you’re mom at the fair, you think to yourself ‘wahoo, more for me,” and try to eat the whole bag yourself. The nausea of the carousel didn’t last.
Leadership, citizenship, and life skills. Yes. Yes, indeed.
But if you’re Brookston and dad offers you a bite of his spicy dill pickle, you
remember from last year, that you
don’t want a bite, and respond like this to his advertisements:
The pickles and the sugar are in the building farthest from your exit, so you get to see and say goodbye to everything as you walk past.
Including the horticultural displays all lit up with twinkle lights.
And you say goodbye to lit up waterfalls.
And goodbye to all the mums. There were a lot of them. Oh, and notice how this year Mom remembered
everyone’s jackets.
And goodbye to mom dragonflies and half bee face Rosalyns.
And goodbye to the fair.
