Nick’s hot geekery

 

Nick is really excellent.  Here is how he spends his free time from time to time.  (I have interjected some commentary in blue to clarify jargon, however, I’m not sure anything is really all that clarified.)  This is a recap he wrote about a Tecmo Superbowl game he recently played online.

 (yes, folks.  that’s a 1991-style pixelated nick.  bless him.)

wk3 eagles @ bills

these 2 franchises faced off in 1972. that was the last time, and the eagles lost by a TD to the feets of the immortal retro OJ simpson.

the story of this game is in the QB numbers (in reference to this player being 32 years old). ken anderson left his eye glasses and dentures on the nightstand--they must have fallen down to keep his terry cloth open-toed slippers company. all this meant is that his helmet fit funny, and he couldn't see his WRs well enough to time the JJs (timed routes that make the receiver jump) correctly.

on the flip side, fergie was on point. so much so that his WRs were able to catch the ball even whilst playing hand jive games with their defenders. bruce harper was seen shaking hands and signing over the lease of his brand new 1981 pontiac firebird trans am to DB mike davis when the pass from fergie came, which he handily caught and ran in for a TD, while davis reveled in the flaming glory of his new 4-wheeled phoenix.

clarence harmon, the hero of the first half for the eagles after housing a KR decided in the 3rd qtr that his life was pointless, handed the ball over to the bills defender on another KR and walked off the field with his head held low. team counselors are working feverishly to heal the emotionally wounded warrior.

feeling sorry for the hapless eagles LB corps, fergie decided to take a few soft sacks, which allowed him to drain some game clock as well. monte jackson was mad at fergie for being a "sissy missy," and promptly intercepted a pass to get fergie back on the field. fergie feeling like an idiot handed the ball of to delaney from that point on, which drained enough clock to finish the game.

31-7 bills final

GG, baxter. glrw, bro. (get going, baxter.  get lost raisin wrinkle, brother

…oh wait, nick says it’s good game, baxter.  good luck the rest of the way, brother)

That’s some wit and dedication.